The Year I Don't Talk About

Lyrics — written by hand

(Ah) I'm going to name it

There was a winter that took the year with it,
I stopped counting round about March.
I was polite. I answered the phone.
I was hollow, and I was starch.

People said you'll come out changed
like it's a promise, like it's a door.
Nobody says you come out slower,
and you don't get the old one back anymore.

That's the year I don't talk about —
I'm talking about it now.
Not to be brave, not to be healed,
just to put it down somehow.

I kept a light on out of habit
in a room I didn't use.
I ate standing up at the counter
and I called that self-abuse.

That's the year I don't talk about —
I'm talking about it now.
Not to be brave, not to be healed,
just to put it down somehow.

Little. That's the word that got me.
It was enormous while I stood inside.
From here it's a season with a start and an end,
and I'm the one who survived.

That's the year I don't talk about —
I'm talking about it now.
Not to be brave, not to be healed,
just to put it down somehow.

(Ah) I said it out loud and the ceiling stayed up.
(Ah) still standing. That will do for today.